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I think I'm gonna be sad, I think it's today...

Mon Sep 14, 2009, 11:56 PM
I've been very moody lately.
The title of this journal is from "Ticket to Ride".

I haven't updated my journal for quite some time.
I feel a bit low and depressed at the moment.

I think I'll take Benji to my dad's and he's probably going to stay there. This is a very difficult decision to make. If he's with me I feel guilty for keeping him as my "prisoner of love", for not being able to provide the living conditions that he deserves. When I think about letting him stay with my dad I feel guilty for "abandoning" my baby.
I've been thinking about this for months actually. He's had a couple of "holidays" at my dad's and he seemed to be so happy there. There's a big garden, he loves to run around and enjoys his freedom very much. When He's at home with me he eats and sleeps and does nothing.
I sometimes leave the door open for him so he can have a walk in the staircase and one of my neighbours like him a lot, but there's Mufurc, a neighbour's cat who would like to be friends with him, but Benji starts hissing and growling at him and quickly runs back home.
Benji's often bored and I feel guilty when he's sitting at the window longing to go outside.

I'm almost finished witht he kiriban piece, I should upload it in the next few days. There's another collab I'm working on and once I'm finished with these I'd like to experiment with different techniques, topics, who knows what...

My teaching's going quite well, I get on really well with "my politician" as I jokingly refer to him sometimes. We get on well, he seems to be satisfied witht the classes I give and he's polite and friendly. I never really thought I would, but I actually like teaching.

I'm pretty busy nowadays with having gone back to university and with the teaching, but I hope I'll have time and the right mood for developing my drawing and painting skills. I should start working on my thesis as well, but I just don't feel like it :/

Here are some pictures from my faves that I admire>



Thank you for all the faves, comments, watches :thanks: :blowkiss:

:hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz::hexentanz:

Clubs:
:iconhungarians::iconcat-club-cat::iconartistsforanimals::iconcat-lovers-anon::iconbirds-club::iconlowtech-artists::iconpencilsgalore::iconbigcats::iconrabbitclub::iconbeatlesforever::iconthepencilclub::iconfruitsbasket::iconwe-love-gaara-club::iconeliteartists::iconpetsklub::iconpainters::iconsippysfamily::iconwatercolorists::iconchildrensillustrator::icontraditional-artists:
  • Mood: Tired
  • Listening to: Sea change

Devious Comments

love 0 0 joy 1 1 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconxx-kittycat:
I'm sad to hear that you've been depressed lately :( i wish there was something i could do..
And i can understand how hard it is to make this desicion about Benji.. I'm afraid i will have it the same way when i have to move away to study; i don't know what i'm going to do with my bunnies or what will happen with them!
yeah, making desicions about this kind of thing is very hard and painful..
But no matter what you choose; Benji will do allright and he will continue to love you, and be a happy cat :)

I'm glad to hear your teaching is doing well :hug:
ANd i hope you feel better very soon!

has the autumn come to hungary yet?

--
The rain poured on him <3

Kanke du vere litt sånn tourette-syndrom med mejj? :3
~MellaMe ~Hip-Scarecrow ~xx-kittycat ~Safarikjeks ~coockie-monster
Krønkies and The Bam <3
:iconroocat:
Oh, I'm so sorry you are sad and although I appreciate your wanting Benji to have his freedom, you might check with him to see if that's really what he wants. He may become depressed when he finds himself without you at your father's house. I suggest you monitor the situation closely to make sure he agrees with your decision. I know how hard it will be on you not to have your lovely companion with you so just be sure it is a decision you both can really live with. :hug:
I'm glad the teaching is going well and that you like it. I wish you well and for some happiness to come into your life. You are a wonderful caring person and friend, Maria. :tighthug: :love: :iconessence-fugace:

--
Roo:kitty: :silentkitty:

:please: :eyes: :gallery: :thanks:
Reciprocity mades the world go around.
:iconjoeyv7:
:hug: Sorry you're feeling blue . . . maybe it would be a good idea to let Benji move in with your dad. I mean, if you feel sad for him everytime you look @ him, that's no good for you either . . .

--
If you must drink and draw, please do so responsibly.
:iconbinnus:
:hug: Thank you very much!

Yes, Autumn's here. At the moment it's raining. I actually enjoy the cooler weather as I sufferred from the heat during Summer.

--
"Illusions never fake their lies * trick cards fool the eye * carry zeros over till they add up * bury tears in the chapters you shut ..."
Scarecrow - by Beck :woohoo: :hexentanz:
:iconbinnus:
Thank you :hug:
I don't really know what's best for him unfortunately :(
I'll ask our vet tomorrow what he thinks about the situation and all.
Benji is sometimes moody with me. He's sometimes all right, other times he seems frustrated and seems to be suffering from boredom and the lack of space and territory.
It's strange that he's quite different when he's at my dad's. He's a lot more independent there, he hardly ever purrs to me there and loves running around, chasing butterflies..

I already started missing him yesterday.. I just don't know what's best for him. :/

--
"Illusions never fake their lies * trick cards fool the eye * carry zeros over till they add up * bury tears in the chapters you shut ..."
Scarecrow - by Beck :woohoo: :hexentanz:
:iconbinnus:
:hug: :thanks:

--
"Illusions never fake their lies * trick cards fool the eye * carry zeros over till they add up * bury tears in the chapters you shut ..."
Scarecrow - by Beck :woohoo: :hexentanz:
:iconbinnus:
Angolt.

--
"Illusions never fake their lies * trick cards fool the eye * carry zeros over till they add up * bury tears in the chapters you shut ..."
Scarecrow - by Beck :woohoo: :hexentanz:
:iconxx-kittycat:
you're very welcome :glomp:

Autumn is here too :) it's raining too; but actually i prefer it to be 0 - 5 degrees and dry, than 10 degrees and raining x)
But in any case autumn is very nice; it makes me.. not "sad" or "depressed", but more like, melancholic, nostalgic and thoughtful, if you know what i mean :)
i'd love to spend time in the nature now.. i hope i can.

--
The rain poured on him <3

Kanke du vere litt sånn tourette-syndrom med mejj? :3
~MellaMe ~Hip-Scarecrow ~xx-kittycat ~Safarikjeks ~coockie-monster
Krønkies and The Bam <3

I'm just wandering how many active watchers I have... 

43%
27 deviants said I check out your works and usually comment on them
38%
24 deviants said I check, fave, but don't leave comments
16%
10 deviants said I check, but that's all
3%
2 deviants said I don't care

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